I know this blog is different to other finance related blogs. For one, I'm a mess. Completely. Utterly. Totally. I skim other blogs and everyone else seems so put together. XX monies in this IRA. YY monies in that Roth. I don't even have a fucking savings account. Okay, I lie, I have 2, but I have no money in them.

I have loans up the wazoo. I'm living in a not for nothing basement apartment that's infested w/waterbugs that keeps me and my 2 month old kitty Callie huddled in the bed under the covers. I duck and dodge phone calls. Stopped answering my cell phone and found out from my mom my voice mail is full. Who's voice mail is ever full? I'm sure even Oprah in her popularity has room on her voicemail.

Me? Not so much. I mean it got so bad I was getting phone calls @ work and messages from my boss to call people back. It's embarassing. I'm embarassed.

I have no kids, dread the thought of having to get a new car. A house seems like a never can happen to me. Yet I loathe paying rent each month. If it at all possible to hit rock bottom and still keeping on falling thru cracks, you are seeing it now.

So in comparison to there debt bloggers, I dunno, I'm the black sheep of the family I guess *shrug*

But, from here on out, I'll be more honest and forthright about what's going on. Why? B/c when I left CCCS Monday AM, I wished there was help for a person like me, I mean I know there's all sorts of get out of debt help, but not what I need and maybe if I need it, one other person needs it too. That's another project for another time though.

For now, I need to burn some brain cells to figure out how I'm going to pay off ALL MY DEBT in 1 year, well less...damn that ticking clock. An extreme extreme meausure would be to find a rent free abode...like...good ole mom. But she's in another state and a 6 hour commute isn't my cup of tea.

A second job can be in order, it is holiday time. I'll search around. For sure once I pay off the cc's that'll free up some more monies, but I can't think that far ahead either.

I have one more scary debt to face, and I guess while I'm on a roll, I may as well contact them too.

On of the things the CCCS counselor told me was, even if the people on the phone are mean and nasty, it's not personal.

That helped.

Later this week, I'm going to plug in all that I owe so I can get a true grasp on my dreadful financial life.