I could do @ least the Target card right now, but all night I've been stalling. Why? I don't quite know. I have monies, I don't exactly count, coins a few dollars in misc savings accounts, that I mentally put towards the debt, but the act of not having any monies is what terrifies me.

@ the class I went to last month, I mentioned that to the instructor. The principle of paying down debt is if knowing you should have 3-6 months savings and still not having it, meant the piddly amount of interest was being cancelled out by the whopping interest on the credit card. Just pay it off.

But that is seriously making the back of my throat constrict and causing knots in my tummy.

Yet, I have a problem of holding onto too much for too long. Emotional baggage. Material things. Excess weight. Clutter. I bring in, but don't throw out. Buy, reluctantly return.

Years and years ago, on an Oprah show, I forget the context but the thought was, two things can not occupy the same space. I can't put 100% effort into paying off debt, if I'm also tightly holding onto 100% of my monies.

I've been in debt so long, I don't know how to function and handle not being in debt. But now I have an opportunity. Now I can carve a new path for myself, I can be scared as all get out, but still do it anyway. Right?

Another principle, and this come from Suze Orman, though I've heard it before, holding on tightly to something means your hands are closed to bigger and better opportunites. It's past due that I open up my hands.

Tale of my debt resumes tomorrow.

*Next week I'll explain how this current payoff possibility came to be.