It really sucks. I can't even begin to describe how horrible I feel and defeated and depressed, which is why I haven't been posting. It's hard enough to deal w/debt, much less talk about it, much less PUBLICLY talk about it. @ least for me. I mean I have a blog, so I own up to even putting it out there, that's not the problem.

I mean my personality in general is to get under the covers and sulk a bit when things get rough, as I come up w/a game plan. Not all will agree w/that approach so to have to explain the thing I don't really want to talk about, while all this is going on, on top of just not wanting to deal w/anything, is what makes it rough. If that even makes sense and if it doesn't, I understand.

So a quick summary as far as debt goes. I'm current on everything, no credit card debt, I've increased payments to my Williams and Fudge loan. It was going to be $200/mo but now I can only do $150. I've also completed my 10 month loan rehab on my GRC/Sallie Mae loan and *may* be looking @ a reduction of the $318/mo I was paying, though, once I get the taxes thing sorted out, I just might leave it be.

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On an unreleated, but related, personal front, June has been a tough month and July is going to be way worse. The three most stressful things are about to collide and I'm feeling really down about it.

1). Taxes - in about a week or so I'll have a better idea where things stand. And for fairly obvious reasons, I wont be able to get into detail about this particular history of debt.

2). Housing - my lease is up. The house we are waiting on, is up in the air. In 30 days, I have no idea where I will be living. This weekend and for the rest of next week, I'll be putting all non essentials in storage (another stress! and expense) and preparing myself to make a majorly far, hopefully temporary move, by the end of the month.

3). Job - Like I said above, June sucked. There was a majorly upsetting move and I'm still reeling from it. Everything is up in the air at this point and I'm not quite sure what direction to go in. It doesn't help having the other 2 stresses on my mind. I can't think str8 and get a good feel of what I should so, so I've been playing the wait and see game, which isn't a great idea.

Maybe in coming days/weeks, I'll break down each of the stresses in more detail, right now I can just skim the surface. That's pretty much it. While I'm dealing offline, I'm going to temporarily close comments. For one, I don't have the time to reply etc, comment spam is back, big time. But mainly b/c I can't get into too much details right now and some forms of advice, w/o knowing the entire story, just wont help me.

Plus, perhaps knowing I can just write and not having an immediate reprimand or scoff @ something I did or said, will give me a sense of freedom to just get everything out. Offline, I havne't even told those closest to me 1/2 of what's going on and truth be told, keeping it bottled up, is really hurting me.

So if nothing else, having my site be a safe haven for the next month or so will be a big help.