So now what?

First thing I did was get 4 books on money and debt @ various stages. Due to wachovia only seeing fit to refund me $51 of the $101, despite the fact in the 11+ years I have had the account, formerly w/SouthTrust, I did not have ISFs, I have decided to take my business elsewhere, ING Direct. The added benefit is that they pay me interest and offer me free overdraft protection, just in case.

I've been reading the first book, not quite following it to a tee, I'm too chicken shit to see my credit report right now, but I get mobilized.

Thursday, my first evening off in almost 2 full months, I printed all my statements from the last 3 months, banking and credit, and before I got online and aloofly plugged them into MS Money, I got a out my notebook, gave each category a page and plugged in my spending patterns. It was sobering and humbling.

It took me about a day to absorb, truly absorb how much I bring home, not including Jobs # 2 & 3, and how much I spend and to really see how I've been financing my lifestyle w/credit.

Then I took the categories and broke them out into 4 blocks. First bills, the ones I must pay or else, basically food, shelter, utilities, car and my loans and taxes.

Then secondary then third then 4th. When I broke out my spending and what I take in, I barely have enough money to cover my First bills, I have no idea how I managed to spend so much on secondary thru fourth-ary, expenses, yet I did. And that made me ashamed and queasy.

Today, my first full afternoon off in almost 2 months, I don't head into work till 7, I cleaned my room, cleaned out my purse, took all the credit cards out of my wallet and put them up, threw away the overtaxed wallet that is freakishly loose with only 2 bankcards and my DL and finally came online to update my wachovia acct, which hadn't been balanced since the end of Oct I think.

Now all my accounts are current and bills are paid. In the last week I also got a plain monthly calendar, for me to note when which bill is due, I plug them in 3 days early, since working so much I don't have much leisure time and ended up paying my capital one visa the day after it was due. When I went into wachovia to ask for a courtesy refund, I also got a blank check register to log my spending, which'll be used for my ING account, and I got a notebook to jot down my financial plans, like which bank account will be my emergency fund savings and which will be my long term.

I still don't feel good about my situation, I know I've taken steps in the right direction and can't change the past, but I still feel foolish about doing so good for the last year and now this. Then again, I was in denial about my tax bill for so long, I was only sorta doing goods so perhaps this is for the best.

As I stated in my first line of the year, I resolve to be 100% debt free in 5 years or less. In my head I think I'm about 50k in debt, including taxes, still havne't gotten the state ones back so it's a guesstimate. My financial goal is to pay off 10k in debt each year, divide by 12 you get the monthly amount, but I'll let that stay fluid since some months I'll be able to pay more and others I'll pay less.

I committ to putting @ least $500/mo to my current debt, as I pay the minimum on the rest and if I make over $500 that month, all excess will go towards it till it's paid in full and I roll over it's minimum payment + $500 to the next smallest debt and so on and so on the snowball goes.

More later this week, I want to catch 40 winks before I head out to work.